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雅思范文欣賞之論述交通問題

2013-08-26 14:23| 來源:環球教育 | 點擊量:

摘要: 對于寫Development類的雅思大作文,一般會要求考生進行利弊分析,所以一定要結合實際情況,不能太過主觀臆斷,要視具體情況而定,使得論述比較站的住腳。
發展問題也是雅思大作文的一大常見話題之一,其中涉及的域比較集中于科技發展、教育發展等。以下,以交通問題為例,具體來解讀雅思大作文的結構思路以及用詞語法的注意事項。

題目:

Some people think stricter punishment for driving offenders is the only effective way to improve safety on the roads. To what extent do you agree or agree?


分析:

題目大意是說,有些人認為應該更加嚴厲地處罰那些違規的駕駛者,這是計劃證路面安全的唯一有效的方法。到什么程度你同意或不同意這個觀點?很明顯,這句話中的核心詞是“the only effective way”,這樣的說法太過對化了。因此,考生們在寫作文的時候思路應該是先肯定嚴厲處罰對于改進路面安全的有效性和實用性,但是也不可否認還有其他方法,而且有些危險是不能僅僅靠法律所避免的,需要視具體情況而定。這樣的論述就比較站的住腳,也比較容易讓考生進行擴展。


范文:

開頭段轉述題目,paraphrase,說明背景信息,引出話題,表達自己的觀點,至少寫3句
With the car ownership soaring in China, the issue of traffic accidents has been thrown into sharp relief. According to recent research conducted by China’s ministry of transportation, the annual incidence of traffic accidents is nearly three times as high as the corresponding figure a decade ago. Many people have been alarmed by this trend and assert that imposing stiffer punishment on the perpetrators is the only way to curb this disturbing phenomenon. Personally, I believe their view has both merit and demerit.
主體段段,1+4句,主題句+2個二論點+2句論證
在此段,作者具體闡述了更嚴厲的處罰的兩點優點,并且通過具體理由的論述,顯得理據充分,令人信服。
(主題句)Granted, more severe penalty does carry certain advantages.(二分論點1) First and foremost, it would be the most cost-effective way to deter those would be driving offenders. (論證分論點1) Heavy fines, long community service or even jail terms would render most of the aggressive drivers apprehensive about the violating the traffic law, even without extra government funding to upgrade traffic surveillance cameras or augment traffic police force.(二分論點2) Further, the effective of this hard line approach would be immediate.(論證二分論點)Once the related regulatory decrees are released, we would be sure to witness a substantial decline of driving offenses overnight.
主體段二段,1+6句,主題句+3個二分論點+3句論證
在此段,作者提出有些交通危險是不能僅僅靠嚴厲的措施所能避免的。三個分論點的說明,進一步闡述此看法的片面性,即“不是唯一的有效的方法”。
(主題句) However, there are also traffic hazards that we cannot address by merely stiffening the punishment of aggressive or destructive driving conduct(二分論點1) To begin with , pedestrians who habitually jaywalk will not be discouraged by this move.(論證二分論點1)pedestrians account for a considerable proportion of traffic-accident culprits; thus, pedestrian offenses such as jaywalking must be effectively checked as will. (二分論點2) Secondly, , if people who are regularly behind the wheel are not awakened to the horrific consequences traffic offenses may breed, they will take advantage of every loophole in sight.(論證二分論點2) If people who are regularly abide by the traffic law solely out of fear for punishment, when a surveillance camera is out order or the traffic police fail to keep tabs on a specific of a freeway, all hell will break loose.(二分論點3) Lastly, strict punishment of disorderly conduct does not guarantee infallible detection of driving offenses.(論證二分論點3) Without sophisticated traffic-offense detectors and a capable traffic police force, traffic laws, no matter how draconian, would be lax enough for hardened reckless drivers to disregard.
結尾段,重申立場,進一步說明觀點,一般是3句
In the final analysis, I concede that harsh penalty on driving offenders constitutes an effective way to deter irresponsible driving behavior. However, the rampant diving offense cannot be curbed by stiffer punishment of driving offenders along. On balance, I am convinced that we must take a more integrated approach to this modern-day scourge.
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